We invite students to submit their romantic qualms. Xitlaly Martinez and Mitchell Park, love correspondents, will respond with advice.
Help. Love Voz, I need to be real with you right now. My friend is delusional. She had a boyfriend senior year of high school and they decided that when she left for college they were going to zip code date. Eye roll.
In my opinion she is much more attractive than her ex and she has pursued many other relationships since being at college and hasn’t told him. Technically they have both agreed not to tell each other, but I know for certain he has even looked in another girl’s direction and is completely obsessed with her.
His ego was really boosted when he started dating her and I think he is a whole other kind of delusional. She is now dating someone at school. 
So happy for her but like I think it might be time to talk to her zip code boyfriend. What do you think?
Xitlaly
Dear reader,
It’s nice you’re concerned for your friend, but it sounds like she’s enjoying her time and playing the field. I’m more concerned about you. Are you jealous of your friend, or of her boyfriends? While you figure that out, remind your friend she shouldn’t let her “zip code” boyfriend get in the way of finding her true love.
Mitchell: “Double Slit Experiment of Love”
Simple solution.
First, find out when your friend’s next date is, by any means necessary. Then reach out to the zip code boyfriend. Convince him that a grand romantic gesture is needed, but ensure that it’s scheduled for the exact same time and place.
As of now, your friend’s relationship exists in a quantum state of superposition, but the moment these dates are observed, reality will be forced to collapse into a single unavoidable truth.
So sit back and let physics take the reins, and remember that you’re a true friend.
