It’s hard to maintain relationships, whether friendly or intimate, while also keeping up with grades and work.
De Anza College students attended a workshop for managing interpersonal relationships Tuesday, Oct. 30.
 Phil Boissiere, licensed family and marriage therapist, moderated the workshop about solutions for relationship problems and advice for better interpersonal relationships.
Boissiere said we should pay special attention to nonverbal signs in communication because they are usually an indicator of what another person feels. Gestures, verbal expressions, eye contact, body posture and movement subconsciously reflect the attitude towards the speaker.
Intimate relationships, on the other hand, need behavioral interdependence. Couples need complimentary behaviors: they should enjoy being together and sharing hobbies as a couple. There ought to be need fulfillment.
Couples need some emotional attachment and emotional availability. They should be willing to discuss their feelings and work together to improve their relationship. A relationship needs fascination, exclusiveness, and desire.
“Make sure you create time for your relationship,” said Boissiere. Here are some tips for improving interpersonal relationships:
• Improve communication. Self-disclosure is a good way to improve communication. Just gauge what you’re sharing and who you’re sharing with. Just the right amount of self-disclosure invites trust.
•  Be a better listener. The secret to being a better listener is active and reflective listening. When someone is talking to you, learn to respond to them positively.
•  Be assertive: “It’s important to be assertive. You can miss out on so many opportunities – so many important interactions can pass you by if you’re not assertive,” said Boissiere.
•  Control Climate. Establish proper climate for communication. Try not to judgmental comments and keep an open mind. “Don’t ask for feedback if you don’t care, or want it” says Boissere. When you ask someone a question, don’t appear uninterested.
•  Manage conflict: always focus on one topic instead of veering off course and into another argument, be specific, take a break, and think about possible solutions. “Don’t think about an argument in terms of winning. Think about it as coming to an agreement, a possible compromise. Something healthy,” says Boissiere.