I can’t count how many times a parent has given me the evil eye because I allow my children to put sticks in their mouths, play in the mud, jump from “high” places or let my boys wear pink. 

The phenomenon of helicopter parenting extends far beyond childhood and even adolescence. There are actually parents who choose their children’s major for college-or worse-continue to dictate their kids’ lives after they have graduated.

The parents I see nearly every time I take my children to the park are likely to become compulsively hands-on parents once their children become adults. These are the parents who do assignments for their children to ensure they get into a good university. They will even go so far as to dictate their children’s interests and careers and completely rule over their lives unless their kids stand up against.

Parents should not try to alter the personalities, desires or dreams of their children just because their children do not grow up to fit the conventional image they had in mind for them. While everyone’s values are shaped in part by their parents, people’s personalities are innate. 

Since the age of 18, I have made all my own decisions. I sometimes wonder, however, if I am making a mistake with my own children and whether there are benefits to being a helicopter parent.

Most helicopter parents are doing what they do out of love and desire for their child to succeed. Some, unfortunately, are doing it for their own wellbeing-creating  a child they can brag about to their friends.  

“Parents seem only interested in making it clear how amazing they think their kids are,” stated Corey Stern in a recent Huff Post Teen article. 

It is important to be involved with your children, to know what is going on in their lives, and to have open lines of communication. It is one thing to be afraid of germs and your children falling when they are young. 

But to dictate every aspect of your child’s life, doing assignments for them, handling college applications and the like when they are burgeoning on adulthood is not going to make them productive members of society. 

If someone becomes a lawyer, doctor or has some other high-paying profession just because their parents chose it for them, then the passion necessary to make their work enjoyable will be missing. 

Subsequently, children nowadays are constantly enrolled in a plethora of activities by their busy parents. “The kids get the idea that someone will always be structuring their time for them,” writes Terry Castle in The Chronicle Review.

“The helicopter parents who hover over nearly every choice or action of their offspring have given way to ‘snowplow parents’ who determinedly clear a path for their child and shove aside any obstacle they perceive in the way,” Castle said.

In the long run, this behavior does more harm than good.