I don’t want to be a boy anymore. Everyday I feel like I’m collapsing under the pressure. I can’t deal with it anymore. Everyone seems so satisfied. I don’t want to dress like I’m working out or playing basketball all the time. I don’t want to wear backwards hats or 501 jeans. I don’t want spiked hair. I don’t want a beard, chest hair, or ass hair. In fact, I want to shave myself hairless and wear skintight clothes, or as little clothing as legally possible and keep a long thick head of hair. I want to wear dresses. I want to wear leggings. I want to wear all the boots girls can fit into and I really like accessories.

I don’t care about cars and I ride a bicycle. I can’t fix anything or put anything together. I’m horrible with directions. I’m very emotional, bad at math, and really good with words. I want to be doted on. I want to marry rich (secretly). I want to be pretty. I do Pilates. I’m really concerned about my weight. I don’t watch football or pornography.

Let’s all just admit what we really feel inside, that none of us are normal and there are things we want to do but would get stoned for if we did them. We’re all secret freaks. None of us perfectly fit into the rigid boxes our assigned gender. None of us. Some of us can admit that, and are aware and others will refuse it till they die repressed and frustrated as some gender-caged flat top sporting rapebot or as some silenced pie-baking baby-squirting domestic drone. Let’s break all the rules and make things easier for both sexes. Imagine a place where girls didn’t wear make up, skated, wore whatever they wanted, and hit on boys. Otherwise, it seems to me that girls are having all the fun.

Girls, I don’t care if you make fart jokes. I like it when you swear and spit. I don’t think you’re a slut for having sex with as many men and women as you want. I don’t think you’re a bad feminist for reading and loving Hemingway.

Imagine a world where you aren’t written off for improperly answering questions about educational ambitions or career drive. Imagine a place where neither party cares whether or not you like their friends. Imagine a world where men don’t talk to you about books, music and movies. I never want to tell you what to do. I want to live in a place where I can openly admit my longtime secret goals are giving girls amazing head and being an amazing dancer.