Movie remakes don’t surpass the originals

Adam Conston, Production Editor

Movie remakes are pale imitations of the original films and exist as a reminder of Hollywood’s current creative recession.

Every weekend, people are swindled out of their cold hard cash by the lazy bean counters who have taken over Hollywood and only care about the bottom line. Maximum profit for minimal effort is the name of the game.

There is nothing truly exciting or cutting edge coming out of Hollywood these days, because it is easier and safer to remake and ruin classics. Hollywood is creatively bankrupt and doesn’t care because remakes are relatively risk free and guarantee a quick buck.

The latest in a long line of shameful movie releases is “Robocop,” a sub-par and disrespectful recreation of a late ‘80s classic.

The original “Robocop,” released in 1987, has an memorable and invigorating soundtrack, satisfying special effects and a talented cast. It is also a biting satire of late ‘80s politics, corruption, corporate greed and overindulgent excess. Sadly, none of these qualities were recreated in the remake.

As a result, the remake has a below average rating of 6.7 stars on The original received 7.5 stars, an above average rating.

Remakes today tend to be soulless and cheap cash-ins of popular classics. Studios are counting on brand recognition to draw crowds.

These films are a quick buck and while they might have fairly strong opening weekends, they sacrifice artistic quality and receive very poor reviews.

Occasionally, when the stars align just right, a good remake is produced. The 2006 remake of 1977’s “The Hills Have Eyes” added new plot elements that enhance the story.

Unfortunately, good remakes are the exception, not the rule.

“Red Dawn” is a shining example of a entirely unnecessary and disgraceful remake of a film whose political message is no longer relevant in today’s world.

When the original “Red Dawn” was released in 1984 at the height of the Cold War, the threat of a Soviet invasion was not a far stretch.

In the remake, North Korea stands in for the Russians as the bad guys, which makes absolutely no sense from a logical standpoint. North Korea doesn’t have half the military power of the United States, making a full scale land invasion implausible.

The remake exists only to empty the wallets of paranoid, weapon and canned food hoarding neo-conservative nutbags who are just looking for an excuse to use their guns.

The only way to stop remakes from ruining the original classics is to protest with your wallet.

Whenever a remake comes out in theaters, stay home and watch the original on Netflix instead.