Super Bowl Commentary:

The Super Bowl took me a few days to fully process what happened.

First, I must address the elephant in the room in reference to my previous article. I was wrong on seemingly every pick, I may indeed be in the wrong career, still a schmuck with a keyboard. However, I got one thing right, Christian McCaffrey’s first-half touches.

As if Kyle Shanahan read the article, the 49ers got McCaffrey the ball over 17 times in the first half, they went into the break with a lead, and — more importantly — had limited Patrick Mahomes’ time on the field.

This is where things get funky if only Shanahan knew the phrase, “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.”

In crucial moments of the second half and overtime, Shanahan failed to get the ball to one of the greatest offensive players to play the game. One particular moment I would like to highlight is the 3rd and four from the nine-yard line, the last 49ers offensive play of the season

Overtime in the Super Bowl, particularly in the red zone, is objectively a four-down scenario. Putting the ball in McCaffrey’s hands-on third-and-four from the nine-yard line either sets up a manageable fourth down or a first down and better.

Purdy got the offense down the field with minor resistance from the Kansas City defense, but Shanahan did not have enough faith in his All-Pro offense to get four yards in two plays. I am truly unable to understand the decision not to run the ball on third down, instead, McCaffrey is entirely eliminated from the play on a decoy motion.

Electing to put the ball in the hands of anyone besides McCaffrey is bonafide malpractice. Can I call a lawyer on this?

At this point, giving Mahomes an opportunity to drive down and win a football game is guaranteed. Sending Jake Moody out to kick the 27-yard field was the moment the 49ers season had officially fallen off a cliff. Shanahan seemingly threw Mahomes the keys to the car by electing to take three.

The inevitability of Mahomes ‘getting it done’ is a rare quality in sports. Inevitability in the sense that regardless of who stands opposite, it is futile. Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, Chris Wondolowski, Patrick Mahomes. When it is all said and done, Mahomes will be the greatest quarterback to play the game.

Brock Purdy stepped up to the plate and is a bright spot for San Francisco’s future. The scramble and throw to Juscuzyk along the sideline in overtime was absurd, shades of Dez Bryant. Purdy played like he had Nickleback on full volume the entire way to Allegiant Stadium, in his Uber pool.

It was distasteful of Jed York and Shanahan to scapegoat Steve Wilks for the loss. An objective viewer has to recognize Mahomes looked disheveled through the first half which begs the question, what happened at halftime?

A follow-up question; is a conversation on Shanahan’s postseason woes necessary in Santa Clara? Wilks made a few questionable decisions, but firing the man with little decency only days after a Super Bowl loss is distasteful.

At the end of the day, five quarters of football for the future greatest quarterback to ever do it is simply too much. The back-to-back-to-back, three-and-outs to start the second half are inexcusable.

Failing to generate any offense through three drives with four all-pros is hard to watch, particularly considering the fact any twelve-year-old can run the 49ers offense on Madden.

This loss is on Shanahan. He is now on a short list of coaches present for all three Super Bowl overtime losses in NFL history — a list of one person. Jerry Jones gave Mike McCarthy one more year so Shanahan will most likely also get one more run, but conversations need to be had in Santa Clara about Shanahan’s future tenure.

What about Travis Kelce shoulder-checking Andy Reid? How does this affect my Taylor Swift under 0.5 years dating bet? What if Reid got hurt? A truly insane moment, add it to the list of contestable behavior by tight ends.

A “Porch Talk” Mock Draft:

1st Pick (Chicago Bears)
Caleb Williams (USC)

If Ryan Poles and the Chicago Bears do not elect to take Caleb Williams with the first overall pick, we will be re-telling the story for the next two decades. The USC Trojan has a chance to be a generational quarterback, if Chicago wants to win in the near future, Caleb Williams is the only option.

2nd Pick (Washington Commanders)
Marvin Harrison Jr. (OSU)

The Washington Commanders ended the season, leading the league in pass attempts with 626, at one point in the season, Sam Howell led the league in passing yards. Give Howell one more chance and give him the greatest wide receiver prospect in recent drafts. If Washington drafts Harrison with the second overall picks, book my Commander’s Super Bowl slip now.

3rd Pick (New England Patriots)
Jayden Daniels (LSU)

Jayden Daniels feels like the obvious pick as the Heisman winner put up video game numbers in his senior campaign. I have a lot of hope in the Jerrod Mayo era, so bringing on Daniels feels like the perfect way to start the process.

4th Pick (Arizona Cardinals)
Rome Odonze (Washington)

Two wide receivers will go in the first five picks this year, the second being Rome Odonze out of the University of Washington. If Marvin Harrison Jr. was not in this draft, Odonze would be the first wide receiver to go. Unfortunately, Hollywood Brown, being your wide receiver one is not a recipe for success, Odonze would quickly emerge as the number one guy in this Arizona offense. Be smart.

5th Pick (Los Angeles Chargers)
Brock Bowers (UGA)

Give Justin Herbert a consistent option at tight end. If the Chargers’ wide receiver room can stay healthy, Bowers will flourish under the new Harbaugh campaign. The Chargers are in a cap space nightmare, so getting a talent like Bowers for a budget price is crucial. The UGA product registered 2,538 receiving yards on 175 catches through three seasons.

6th Pick (New York Giants)
Malik Nabers (LSU)

It has already been made public that Daniel Jones is expected to be the starter come week one, so why not make his recovery season easier by taking Jayden Daniels’ first option, Malik Nabers. The LSU product racked up just over 3,000 receiving yards on 189 catches through three seasons. The Giants would be an exciting team to watch this season.

7th Pick (Minnesota Vikings via Tennessee Titans)
Drake Maye (UNC)

The Minnesota Vikings will trade up to the seventh overall pick to draft Drake Maye. I couldn’t imagine a better situation for Maye than Minnesota, a bright offense with the best wide receiver in the league. UNC quarterbacks have had a turbulent history in the league, so at least Maye’s bar is set low.

8th Pick (Falcons)
Adonai Mithcell (Texas)

Imagine a hypothetical homecoming for Justin Fields accompanied by taking Adonai Mitchell with the 8th pick. The University of Texas wide receiver brought in 11 touchdown passes last year. An offense with Justin Fields, Bijan Robinson, Kyle Pitts, Drake Londo and Adonai Mitchell sounds like the greatest hypothetical Madden team to ever exist. A red zone threat like Mitchell creates a nightmare for opposing defensive coordinators due to Atlanta’s already flashy offense.

9th Pick (Bears)
Olumuyiwa Fashanu (Penn State)

According to Pro Football Focus, or PFF, the Chicago Bears had the 30th-ranked offensive line in the NFL. Bryce Young and the Carolina Panthers have shown precisely what happens with a rookie quarterback and an abysmal offensive line. Regardless of how expensive the car is that you buy, you still need gas to run it. Let Caleb Williams thrive, buy him time.

10th Pick (Jets)
Troy Franklin (Oregon)

Troy Franklin had 81 receptions for 1,383 yards in his final Oregon season with 44-year-old quarterback Bo Nix. Franklin would create a dangerous duo with third-year receiver Garret Wilson. Taking Franklin with the tenth pick is entirely contingent on whether or not America’s least favorite political commentator can stay on the field. The Jets’ offense felt predictable at times last season due to their questionable depth at the wide receiver position.