De Anza College Confessions is where students come to air out their laundry list of sexual infidelities or post lengthy rough drafts of their autobiographies.

Most of the time, the posts are written by “thirsty” students who come seeking a booty call after a long day of skipping class to masturbate in the De Anza bathroom stalls.

Once in a blue moon, there is an actual confession of sorts, though it usually tells the tale of how this student is failing class or how that student saw other students having casual sex in their cars as he or she walked to class.

None of the confessions remotely represent a legitimate confession done in the traditional style of “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”

If an actual priest moderated the De Anza Confessions page, let’s just say that the priest would’ve put the kibosh on some of these entries faster than Amanda Bynes’ next spiral down the drain of humanity.

Thanks to the widespread epidemic that is the creation of college confession pages, nearly every college has one, meaning that anyone can get a glimpse of what student life is really like at these colleges.

So when your prospective employer is looking over your resume months or years from now, he or she will most likely come across your alma mater’s confessions page while looking you up on Facebook.

And she or he will forever remember your alma mater, De Anza College, as the community college where students hide bags of marijuana in the parking lot and take yoga classes to hit on girls.

You’re hired.