We invite students to submit their romantic qualms and Xitlaly Martinez, love correspondent, will respond with advice.
Insecurities, parent disapproval
Dear La Voz,
Is it worth it to date someone whose trust issues get in the way of the relationship and they won’t seek help, set double standards and my parents don’t like them? How do you even deal with the feeling of letting go of someone you’ve given yourself completely to? I have no idea what to do and I just am flabbergasted by the lack of emotional maturity and the way they completely switched up after a couple months of dating. Help :(
Dear reader,
Never date someone who sets double standards. Do not entertain someone who is immature, illogical and hypocritical. Unless your parents are terrible people, listen to them when they say they do not like your partner.
Take time to refill the energy you’ve lost while you fell for this mismatch, I can say confidently: you will love again.
Undesired courtship
Dear La Voz,
I always get approached by people who are much, much older than me (like 10-20 years older). When I’m out with my friends, they’ll try to start a conversation or ask for my number. I think some of these people don’t have any bad intentions and they just didn’t realize how much older than me they were (I was 15-17 in some of these situations). One time this old man with not much white hair started following me around the mall when I was with my mom. He kept asking me where I went to school and telling me that I should go to SCU, even when I tried to get out of this conversation. How do I prevent this from happening to me again?
Dear reader,
I want you to know this is not your fault. I can unfortunately tell you older men’s attempts at flirting are very common. A highschool cheerleader I knew growing up would wear makeup to appear older in an effort to avoid older men’s interest, and she said it worked.
At times, it’s hard to guess a stranger’s intentions when they approach you, but to set a wall between us, I make it known I have a father at home. An older man will either appreciate the protection and security your father provides, or be jealous of it.
Love triangle
Dear La Voz,
“I’m talking to this guy right now, let’s call him Kevin, … Last weekend, I went to his college for a football game with my best friend … We were going to grab dinner, but since neither my friend nor I are 21, he invited us back to his apartment instead. His roommates were there, so he introduced us.
One of his roommates, let’s call him Michael, was napping when we arrived. Kevin had told me … that he and Michael have known each other since kindergarten and have been close ever since. Anyway, while Kevin and I were cooking dinner, Michael woke up and came into the kitchen … and oh my goodness—Michael is my type to a T. He’s tall, white, blonde, has great style, and HE’S SINGLE.
Now, even though Kevin and I have been seeing each other (and I know he likes me—he’s been proactive about asking me on dates, introducing me to his friends, and making time for me), the thing is, he’s terrible at texting. Like, he doesn’t check in with me about things like “How was your day?” or “What’s up?” and I’m the kind of person who likes constant, consistent communication. It really bothers me, to be honest.
So, here’s the dilemma — Michael seems like a better match for me, at least in terms of my type and he seems slightly more outgoing (which I like). Is there a way I can do a homie switch? Lol. Any advice on how I can stop talking to Kevin and start talking to his roommate/friend, Michael? Or is it even a good idea or not? Lol.”
Dear reader,
Kevin’s unwillingness to communicate through text everyday is not a flaw, and you mentioned he has other qualities that work well with you. I don’t think you like Kevin, and you likely only find Michael attractive due to proximity, and that’s okay!
In the name of good sportsmanship, you should make a strategic retreat from this friend group. I promise you, there are more cute, tall, blonde boys.
P.S. If Michael likes his best friend’s love interest (you), it’s a huge red flag.
