The voice of De Anza since 1967.

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The voice of De Anza since 1967.

La Voz News

The voice of De Anza since 1967.

La Voz News

    The art of itching in public

    It happens to all of us. We are in the middle of a date, out with friends at the mall, in class or someplace else where we don’t have access to the privacy of a bathroom – when we get the sudden urge, that annoying impulse to itch, scratch or pick at one of the most noticed parts of our body … the buttocks.

    Well, you don’t have to be embarrassed any longer with these helpful tips on inconspicuous ways on how to relieve that pesky itch or get rid of the wedgies we all have to deal with.

    The Wall: This technique is great if you’re out in public with friends. Find an edge of a wall (or pole) to lean up against. While talking to your friends, with your books or bag in one hand, use the edge of the wall to your advantage. Use your free hand on the side of the wall your friends can’t see and pick the wedgie or itch that area, by acting like you’re brushing off something on your pants.

    The Twirl: This technique is great if you’re by yourself because people will think you dropped something or saw something so fascinating you just had to turn around. While you’re walking, turn your head slightly, and in the midst of your twirl around, get that annoying spot. No one will ever notice because you do this move very fast. Make sure that after you twirl, stop for a minute and look at something or walk in another direction (so you don’t look crazy just twirling around).

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    The Spider: This technique is ideal if you’re standing or sitting. While sitting down or standing you can exclaim, “SPIDER!!!” or say nothing and just act like you have a spider on you by brushing off and fidgeting your whole body. In all the commotion nobody will ever notice that you just scratched your rear end.

    The Bend-N-Snap: Everyone knows this move from the pretty-n-pink diva Elle Woods of the movie “Legally Blonde.” A move like that isn’t just for attention; with a little change to the move you can fix your itch with class and style. While bending down to pick up something you’ve dropped on purpose (you can kneel as well), do a little wiggle to situate where your “problem” area is, then snap up very hard as if you intended to crack your back. This should take care of it with ease because the force at which you snap should have had the strength to get rid of any itches or wedgie troubles.

    Hope these helped, and if you’re bold enough, just go ahead and do what you need to do, with no other cares on your mind. After all, it’s like a pimple: everybody gets it.

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