Channel surfing; browsing hundreds of television stations at a rabid pace that even the Energizer Bunny seemingly ceases to exist.

Hundreds of satellite derived niche stations, everything from golf, to language, animals, kids and movies, but surfing the television is an art itself.

I ponder when channel surfing will become an Olympic Games sport, after all it is getting to be extremely difficult.

Very seldomly do I find quality programming on television. Yeah, those gunslinger, fast-paced, high-energy Kung Fu and war films are excellent, but few have proper credentials for my list of quality programming. Most TV programs are piled high and deep with raunchiness, violence and excessive vulgarity.

The Nickelodeon network, and subsidiary station TVLand, the Disney Channel and other stations continuously run “old” syndications of popular shows like “Dragnet,” “Bonanza,” “The Jeffersons,” “The Cosby Show,” “Gunsmoke,” “Little House on the Prairie,” and many more entertaining shows that anyone should be comfortable watching. TNN, the network that now has “POP,” entertains a captive audience with hits like “The Dukes of Hazzard.” Only an hour or two following Bo, Luke and of course, Daisy Duke, one can watch WWF RAW, the ever-so-popular version of professional wrestling that is now considered “Sports Entertainment,” which it is. RAW showcases incredibly lame gimmicks and an inexcusable amount of vulgarity and smuttiness. By the way, did I mention RAW is one of the best shows on T.V.?

Broadcast news has changed recently, as all the networks want you to do is watch. I can hardly bare to watch the news anymore, because every story is sad, depressing, and irrelevant to what I want to know. After all, do I really need to know about Mr. Clinton’s misbehaving pet? Granted, bad news will always get the center of attention, but what about all the good things occurring out there?

After watching the evening news, I am embedded with an image of a decayed, misery-struck modern society that has no room for values or morals.

I’m an avid sports fan, a sports fanatic. So what has happened to televised sports? Well, networks have created sports programming that is just as ridiculous as most any other TV show. Football no longer provides brutal, agonizing, bone-crunching games. Now, they are stop-and-go contests with scheduled timeouts for the networks to make extra money.

Halftime shows don’t even bother to talk about the game and let you know what happened in the first half. Instead, we are pressured with screen shots of scantily clad cheerleaders, or maybe I can just say eye candy, followed by performances by extremely unknown and bad musicians.

Baseball, basketball, hockey, and most sports play games with duration of three hours or more; it’s just too long.

I will continue to keep my ears glued to the radio and I’ll keep my eyes on the outlook–wait, a quality show–I need to watch it!