Obama’s next gig: Beermaster? Hairstylist?

President Barack Obama has eight and a half more months left in office. Two terms sure went by fast.

But now there’s a new question to deal with. No, not “How high should this wall be?” or “Where’s the nearest one-way ticket to Canada?” (All valid questions at this point), but rather, a question uniquely suited to none other than our President and Commander in Chief: Well what’s next?

With such a decorated career spanning several landmark Supreme Court decisions, sticky conflicts in the Middle East and an economy that resembled the Mariana Trench at times, it would be a tall order to draft a Presidential Bucket List of sorts on short notice.

For starters, perhaps Obama should take up writing as a columnist. After all, he already has an established presence on Medium. From new policies to old issues, he’s covered them all.

Future articles about his take on geopolitics and national perspectives will practically write themselves, much like a typical John Oliver segment.

Take that writing one step further, and our Comedian in Chief’s jokes might even make it to The Daily Show. Those one-liners during the most recent Correspondent’s Dinner were perfect for celebrity roasts. Trevor Noah, watch out!

Jokes aside, the POTUS should really work on perfecting his craft beer recipe. Eight years of experience means that the leader of the free world has a head start in the game. With his brew, we might even see levels of bipartisan support previously thought unimaginable. The numbers on both sides of the aisle will seem even more unbelievable after the sixth can.

But, I digress. Why should our president limit his future career to the United States? His recognition abroad is indisputable. Plus, after spending so many years having to listen to politicians in Capitol Hill, there is no reason why he shouldn’t take a break and do the talking.

A role as a hair stylist in Cuba would work.

If Obama wishes to entertain on the global stage instead, he already has quite the presence. “Little Obama” might sell that much faster in the middle of a Russian winter if the guy in the ad is the president himself. Lack of shirt and wild bear not included with the product.

On the other hand, even that might not be ideal. The last thing anyone in his position would want is to be spotted next to a certain, well, ex- NSA contractor. And that is completely and justifiably understandable.

Anyone would appreciate a peaceful and quiet life after so much time in the spotlight.

I hear there’s a market for tango studios in Argentina.