Five reasons clickbait sucks
June 14, 2016
- My life still hasn’t been changed: I can’t tell you how many videos I’ve watched promising me that, by clicking on the video, I’d be in for a life change. Let me tell you a secret: I’m the same exact person now as I was the first time I fell for a sappy Upworthy video about some kid raising money for cancer.
- Facebook has been ruined. Everything on Facebook is clickbait now. Grandmas were the first to fall victim, sharing seemingly promising links, and now everyone from our best friend’s to our uncle’s cat is in on the unfortunate fun.
- I WILL believe what happens next. It’s not that exciting. Or even if it is, it’s still believable. Sorry to disappoint.
- The count: Sure, I’m looking at a list of the coolest 25 buildings in Antarctica. But No. 22 is going to BLOW MY MIND. I can’t just scroll down to No. 22, though – I have to click 22 times on the same arrow, and there’s a ten-second gap between each click because all 500 ads on each page have to load. I’ll get to 22 once my computer’s overheating and the 21 previous Antarctic buildings have failed to satisfy me. I’ll save you the pain – the 22nd one is just as lame as the rest.
- I fall for them every time. I’m a victim of Buzzfeed’s intriguing bait. I really do want to see 33 embarrassing things that I loved in the 2000’s that will fill me with shame. I need to know the 5 biggest reasons why my bed is bae. I can’t help it. I’ve fallen to the system.