Monday, October 16, 2006
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You love to travel and this week you will embark on a long journey to find a parking spot. Do not worry; you will reach your destination. However, you will still be late to class. The stars will come back and not laugh at you next week.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You are surrounded by many friends and family, but may stumble into financial hardship. Don’t let tasks slip through the cracks as you focus on personal relationships and refrain from playing the lottery. Winning numbers are 8, 11, 13, 35, and 44.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Your friends are important, so don’t ditch them when your new love-interest comes along. If you’re already in the relationship, be aware that your neglected friends are calling you “whipped” behind your back.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Things were going well at your job, but they will take a turn for the worse. Your boss wants you to actually do the work now. Do not worry, as the moons will realign, you will go back to skimming by.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): The cash-cow constellation is in dark skies. Money is tight these days, and that’s a bummer. You deserve to shop your problems away. Your lucky number is 349,576,812.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Slanderous remarks may get you some unwanted attention. Pay careful attention to personal relationships and choose your words carefully. Beware: your happy star is in line with the sad face planet.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): You will have an encounter with nature. Whether this is a nature hike or a natural disaster is uncertain. What is certain is that whatever happens, more than likely it will involve squirrels. Please, do not feed the squirrels.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You have affection for your car, unfortunately automotive troubles will occur. But not having a car is worse, so suck it up! There is a Honda or Toyota in your life.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You may find yourself playing sports or at a picnic outside at a local park or school eating area. Beware of soggy lunches caused by a lack of rain shelter in the eating area. Your lucky color is green-sheet green.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You will see artwork surrounding you, which will bring calmness and harmony to your life. Though, you may be distracted and must do your best to control your urge to throw a pile of chairs onto the artwork, or fountain, for that matter.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You notice that you aren’t getting as many comments on your MySpace as before. Don’t worry, as others are too busy checking their own accounts to comment on yours. Friends also do not appreciate you posting those lame bulletins.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Look both ways before crossing the street. ‘i before ‘e’ except after ‘C.’ Boredom is in the foreseeable future. Expect your professor to ramble and go off on a tangent.