Note from the editors: This article is satire, and intended to be read as such.
In the wake of heightened awareness and calls for solidarity after the election of Donald Trump, a counter-culture group has emerged on campus: De Anza’s first and only social Injustice club, founded by Clint McNickle.
The Social Injustice Club has several goals, but its stated purpose is to “stop the influence of social justice warriors and political correctness.” This includes an intended goal of combating “Safe Spaces” by introducing “Danger Zones.” Danger Zones are intended to pair individuals with a respective counterpart, such as an African American with a white supremacist, a woman who has had an abortion with a pro-life Evangelical Christian, or a Jew with a neo-Nazi.
“It’s really an ideal set-up,” said Nathan Pindinjo, a member of the club. “This way students are subjected to different opinions, and it will promote intellectual growth as it should in a college environment.”
The club is also advocating for De Anza to change its biology curriculum. “It’s too politically correct right now.” said Crag Dresherg, the club’s adviser. “Teachers talk about this hierarchy in the animal kingdom, and that it’s unequal; That’s just not right, there isn’t a hierarchy. You know political correctness is destroying this great country when liberal college professors are going out of their way to invent new spins on supposed inequality.”
McNickle also had strong words about the club’s plans to limit the voice of the establishment media: “Everyone is a slave to the liberal propaganda machine. It has sparked protests funded primarily by George Soros at an average of $4,000 per protestor, and it has silenced non-liberal voices. This political correctness is destroying our First Amendment right to freedom of speech.”
McNickle also spoke about the club’s plans to table in the quad to shout racial, homophobic, and transphobic slurs at passersbys to exercise their own First Amendment rights and desensitize those who may be easily offended.
“I’m excited for what this club has to offer,’ said Huck Reneys, the club’s secretary. “I think we’ll really make a change on campus, and we are needed now more than ever. We are simply carrying on the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr., who wanted nothing more than for all lives to matter.”
If you have interest in the club, it meets in De Anza’s Office of Inequity at 5 p.m. on Thursday. You can also contact the club president at email@example.com.